The gender gap in grief admin: Why HR must rework their bereavement policies  

By Clare Dodd, UK General Manager, Empathy.

Grief is usually framed as an emotional experience, but the reality of bereavement is far more complex. Alongside the loss itself comes a wave of administrative and financial responsibilities, and in the UK, women often shoulder that disproportionately. 

Government figures showed women make up the majority of bereaved spouses in the UK. Department for Work and Pensions data revealed three quarters of bereavement benefit recipients are women. According to our last Census, there are 2.2 million widowed women in England and Wales compared to just 730,000 men – suggesting more than three times as many women than men have lost their spouse.  

Beyond the higher number of women widowers, when a bereavement does occur, women are also more likely to take on the practical responsibilities that follow, with three quarters of bereavement benefit claimants being female, according to DWP data.  

Funerals, probate and complex financial paperwork can be both time-consuming and emotionally challenging. Yet outside of child bereavement, there is no guaranteed statutory paid leave for losing a spouse or partner in the UK, meaning employees are typically expected to return to work within days while still managing the practical implications of loss.  

The “second job” of bereavement 

The administrative workload of bereavement can take hundreds of hours to resolve, stretching far beyond the few days of compassionate leave many employees receive. Without adequate bereavement leave, employees are forced to complete most of this admin during standard working hours, stretching far beyond the few days of compassionate leave many employees receive. 

Alongside this, traditional financial roles within many UK households mean some women suddenly have to navigate systems they were never responsible for before. Men are still taking the helm with household finances, with 70% of people who manage household finances alone being men. When a partner dies, many women must locate wills, find a way to contact advisers they’ve never met, or untangle pensions, investments and insurance policies they didn’t previously manage. 

Widowers are forced to navigate these financial and administrative processes while they are grieving. Grief has been shown to affect concentration, memory and decision-making, making complex financial and legal processes harder to manage. 

For many women, these pressures are compounded by existing caregiving responsibilities. The Office for National Statistics estimates around 850,000 women in the UK are part of the “sandwich generation,” supporting both children and ageing parents. Sometimes a bereavement reduces caring load – but in other cases, it can mean less support or more caring responsibilities. And more often than not, this is initially compounded by grief and death-admin. 

The result is a significant cognitive and emotional load that inevitably spills into working life. While providing compassionate, empathetic support to employees following a bereavement is undoubtedly the right thing to do, it also makes good business sense. Empathy’s data shows women are almost 40% more likely than men to experience physical symptoms of stress after a loss, and 60% more likely to experience psychological symptoms. Nearly a third of bereaved employees say they struggle to concentrate at work, while more than a quarter report reduced productivity in the year after a bereavement. 
 
For HR and wellbeing leaders, it’s a difficult balance to strike – keeping leadership satisfied while supporting employees through one of the most difficult and complex experiences of their life. It reflects a structural gap between how workplaces approach bereavement and the reality employees are navigating. 

Rethinking workplace support for bereavement 

Many workplace bereavement policies are still built around the idea of a few days of compassionate leave. While this is an important starting point, it rarely reflects the reality of what happens after a loss – particularly for women. With British women often navigating the lion’s share of the practicalities following a bereavement, the impact on their working lives can be significant. 

There’s an opportunity for employers to rethink how they support employees through bereavement. Rather than relying on rigid policies, organisations can take a more case-by-case approach that recognises the practical, emotional and cognitive impact of loss – and how these experiences can vary dramatically from person to person. 

In practice, meaningful support can take several forms. This might include longer periods of leave, a phased return to work, or allowing flexibility during the workday for administrative tasks and appointments. In my work, I’ve seen that grief affects people very differently: some employees value the structure and distraction that work can provide, while others need more time and space away. A case-by-case approach is therefore essential. 

Equipping managers with basic grief literacy is another crucial step. Managers are usually the first point of contact when an employee experiences a loss, yet many feel unsure how to respond. Training can help them understand how bereavement affects concentration, memory and decision-making, and recognise when employees may need additional flexibility or support. 

Practical guidance can also make a significant difference. Because financial responsibility in UK households still skews male, some bereaved partners may suddenly find themselves managing finances, insurance policies or pensions they have never handled before. Providing access to specialist guidance, whether through HR resources or external support, can help reduce the administrative burden during an already overwhelming period. 

When bereavement policies acknowledge these realities, they do more than support individual employees. They help prevent women from being disproportionately affected in their careers during one of the most difficult periods of their lives. 

Getting this right matters for retention as well as wellbeing. Our data found that 48% of bereaved employees would consider leaving their job if they felt unsupported following a loss (rising to 74% among Gen Z) while 91% say they highly value bereavement benefits. For employers already concerned about retaining talent, bereavement support is an area that cannot be overlooked. 

Building a more compassionate workplace 

While for some it feels like grief in the workplace is an uncommon encounter, ultimately bereavement is something almost everybody will experience at some point in their working lives.  

Countless employees are affected by deaths every year, navigating a complex emotional process and, in many cases, especially for women, are also trying to decipher a bureaucratic administrative system for the first time too.  

When organisations acknowledge the full reality of bereavement – both emotional and practical – they create workplaces that support people through one of life’s most difficult moments, presenting an opportunity to build employee loyalty, as well as a compassionate and supportive workplace.  

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this opinion piece are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Well Crowd. This content is for information and discussion purposes only and should not be taken as medical, health, or professional advice.